Is It OK For a Mum to Want Time Out?
Mum’s That Take Time For Themselves - Mental Health Awareness Week.
Mental health awareness week is not only for those who have a diagnosed condition, it is a time to reflect on our wellbeing in general, particularly Mums!
It is very rare that Mums take time out to think about themselves. Our priorities are those of our children and family. Time for ourselves is merely a passing thought.
Yes this is normal, this is life! Be mindful not to neglect your needs. It is not being selfish, and you do not need to feel guilty for this!
From the moment you discover that you are a mother, your identity changes in-that-moment. You are no longer alone, you will always be depended upon. This begins with your body.
Your child is dependent on you providing nutrients and protection as they grow from fetus to your fully formed baby. From birth they continue to be dependent on you to provide them milk, nurture, comfort and protection. This continues and evolves throughout their lifetime and for the continuation of yours.
“The sense of responsibility can be overwhelming and all consuming.”
To support your management of this it is important to notice or remember the following:
1. Make time for yourself (remember don’t be black and white, it just sets people up to fail, some time is better than no time. It can be built on).
2. Do some things that you enjoy (even the smallest things) It will remind you of who you are.
3. Do not isolate yourself (meeting and mixing with others, even those with children of a similar age can help you to feel less alone with difficulties, stresses and low times) You will also get chatting and see you are not alone with the struggles of life!
4. If you were a worrier before having children or just have an anxious personality, remember what helps you to manage those feelings. If you don’t have any obvious coping strategies (tool box) you can learn. Anxiety can be treated and managed effectively with the right support.
5. If you notice that you are experiencing more lows than is deemed ‘normal’ (can begin anytime after birth and can continue for over 1 year). Symptoms include an inability to concentrate, feeling worthless, inability to feel happiness, sleep problems, anger, finding it difficult to leave the house, low sex drive, overeating, problems bonding with your baby and suicidal thoughts, then this could be a sign of postnatal depression, which many Mums experience. Just book an appointment to see a GP and explain how you are feeling, they can help you.
Just know that all of the above is very common, you’ll be surprised how many Mums go through these feelings. What is important is that you recognise these feelings as not being normal to you and to not let too much time disappear before you do something about it. once you realise things aren’t quite right it is easy to pretend it is not happening and let yourself get consumed by it.
If you are struggling, then seek some professional advice. It can be easily dealt with and you can find the right way for you to manage it.
If you experience any of the symptoms mentioned in this passage, please do not hesitate to visit your GP, counsellor, midwife or health visitor as they can help you get through it.
A huge thank you to the wonderful Maddy Richardson for writing this article for Things for kids in Kent in aid of Mental Health Awareness Week 13th - 19th May 2019.
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Maddy has been a Chartered Psychologist for over 10 years and is based in Kingshill, Kent.
Website: www.counselling-therapy-kent.co.uk